Check out how our interview with DOA minus my guy Ollie went down. Nick is quite the character. When you’re done leave a comment and be entered to win an ecopy of either Bound Together or Last Christmas by Marie Coulson.
D— Thanks for stopping by Flirty and Dirty. This is so fab. *Hugs all around* Nick? Get your hands off my ass! I just spoke to Ollie.
Eric – Thanks for inviting us.
Nick – Yeah, we never get the interviews. I’m thinking, we’re worth talking to too, you know?
Eric – Well, I am.
D—Uh Nick… could you get off my lap for a minute? I’d hate for our boy to get knowledge of this. We’ve only just sat down. O totally warned me about you. Don’t think I’m not wise to your antics. *wink* Amy– love that top girl and those shoes are gorge!!!!!
Nick – Saying it for the record huh? Noted. Voted. Denied.
Mel – (Swats Nick around the head)
Nick – Ouch, bitch!
Mel – Dick.
D—thanks Mel. Nick don’t think that Ollie didn’t warn me about you.He’s my guy and he’s been through enough. I won’t mess with our friendship.
Amy – Nick, stop acting the asshole and sit your ass in its seat. Sorry. The shoes? Donna Karen. A gift from daddy for my birthday. Totally love that top you have on. I can’t wear a halter.
Mel – I never said you can’t. I said that when you do, you look like a hooker.
Amy – Is it my fault that I have huge boobs?
Nick – Let’s investigate. Quick, Amy, take off your shirt. (Breaths in to hands to warm them)
Eric – Dude, seriously? Her girlfriend is right there…
Nick – Oh, sorry, you’re right. Mel, lend me a hand will you?
All three start yelling at Nick.
Nick – Ok, ok! God, you offer a girl a boob exam and you get abused. Where is the justice? Eric? Back me up?
Eric – Please don’t talk to me. People will think I know you.
D—So, let’s jump right into DOA stuff.
D—So how has it been without Ollie full time? Are you still playing as many gigs?
Nick – So. Much. Fun! That princess was killing my buzz.
Amy – Hey! Lay off. He’s been going through some stuff.
Mel – Yeah… all of them long legs and short stays.
Eric – It’s been kinda weird without him. He’s the lead so I guess that makes him the real focus of the group. We’ve all tried to keep it going but it’s hard when your lead guitarist and vocal isn’t there. I can’t do half the shit he sings and plays. Some of it isn’t right for the girls to perform either.
Amy – Duets are awkward. We all have history and singing to each other feels a little…wrong.
Nick – Ain’t nothing wrong about what we did screamer.
Amy – (Blushes)
Mel – Watch your mouth. That’s my girl you’re talking about. (Holds Amy’s hand protectively)
Nick – Sure thing tiger.
Eric – (Snorting a laugh) Tiger?
Nick – (Winking at Mel) She’s a scratcher. Clawed my back and arms like a scratching post. Here kitty. (Makes lewd gesture with his two fingers and tongue)
Mel – (Glaring back at him) I. Will. End. You.
Eric – (To D) And this is the OTHER reason we need Ollie. Referee between those two and to gag his mouth! (Gestures at Nick)
D— *nods in understanding* I know you guys are known for being a cover band but are you coming up with your own stuff? I think you’d be amazing with original stuff.
Eric – Ollie’s the writer. He’s been working on a whole bunch the past few months but, if I’m honest, they’re all kinda depressing or about love.
Mel – I know musicians pour their emotions into their music but I just hope he comes up with something a little lighter while he’s away.
Amy – He took his book with him. He carries this book with sheets for writing music and lyrics. It was a Christmas gift from-
Mel – Shhh. We talked about this.
Amy – Oh, right. Sorry. It was a gift.
Nick – (Grinning with pride) I wrote some songs but apparently they weren’t appropriate. (Makes air quotes)
D– *rolls eyes* I can just imagine.
Eric – Titles of Nick’s songs. Pussy Galore.
Nick – Had a total James Bond thing going.
Eric – Give me sex.
Nick – Hey, that one was a hit for sure. It speaks to people.
Eric – I wish you’d stop speaking to people.
Mel – Can we continue?
D—Do you think you might want to get signed to a label?
Eric – That’s the dream.
Nick – Wet dream. I’m so fucking horny for a contract I can taste it.
Amy – I think I just vomited in my mouth.
Nick – I got something you can suck on to get that taste out.
Eric – DUDE!
Mel – I swear, you’re a dead man.
Nick – I’d go with a smile on my face and her face covered in my –
Amy, Mel and Eric – SHUT UP!
Nick – Whoa, alright. I can take the hint.
D—OMG I can’t believe I’m about to admit this but… well… k so I’m a girl who loves her some drummers. Y’all cannot tell O! Nick get off my lap. *whispers to Nick—are you trying to get me in trouble ?*
Nick – I’m trying to get in to something.
D– *rolls eyes* I’m pretending I didn’t hear you. Tell me Nick what is it about the drums?
Nick – They’re booming, powerful and you can go as hard as you want on them. I like that. My motto for life and sex. Bang hard and live hard. But, I gotta ask, what the fuck is it about Ollie that is making girls so crazy? Is it the piercings? Coz, baby, I got those. (Sticks out tongue to show piercing.) And that ain’t the only one. (Gets off lap and undoes his jeans)
Eric – I am begging you, put that shit away.
Nick – Just showing the lady my prince albert.
Eric – I’m getting an eyeful of your sack! Dude! A courtesy turn…you know, away from me!
Nick – (Zipping up pants) Oh, sorry. (Grinning) See, I got metal.
D– *jaw drops and stares even though she knows she should turn away* Um.. right then.. uh. I’m definitely in trouble cuz that was um… well… enlightening and …
Mel – And all the blood from your brain is currently keeping it rich in iron.
Nick – What? (Looking confused)
Eric – Your mind is in your pants dick brain.
Nick – It’s got a mind of its own sure. Right now, it’s pointing at D. What’s that brain? You want her to what? Oh, my, I think she’d like that. (Hands D his cell number) Call me. (Winks)
D– *blushes and is staring at ceiling* *leans over toward the girls and whispers* — I am somewhat repulsed but somewhat… the thought of his tongue.. phew
Mel—It makes me wanna hurl.
Amy – I don’t know, his mouth has it’s talents.
Mel – Yeah, but getting it to shut up is the problem.
Nick – No need to whisper about me ladies. I know, I’m hot. You all want me.
Amy – I think I might vomit.
Eric – I think I might throw myself out the window. My life will be hell once Ollie sees this!
D—so Mel. Amy, how have people been– friends, family, general peeps since the two of you got together? And let me just say for the record– you two make me want to hurl you’re so F’ing gorgeous. I really don’t think it’s fair that there is this much beauty in one couple. Just saying…
Amy – (Giggling) Are you the sweetest or what? Telling my dad and stepmom was really scary. But, turns out, they were actually pretty cool with it. I think my dad believes it’s a phase. But I’m totally into this girl. I mean, you’re right, look at her, she’s gorgeous.
Mel – Aww. Thanks baby. You’re a hot piece of ass yourself. My parents weren’t thrilled but they didn’t scream about it either. They’re kinda old school and figured one day I’d meet a guy, get married and pop out a couple kids. But, I think they always knew that I was into girls too. I never had a boyfriend and while Layla drooled over Brad Pitt, I was watching Angelina rock those guns in that movie. You know, the one where they’re secret agents. Well, I think my mom noticed. They were better once I told them that this isn’t some college experiment. I actually love this chick. She’s amazing and she’s rocked my world. (Leans in and kisses Amy.)
Nick – I can’t think straight. (Gripping a fistful of Eric’s shirt) Dude, that is so hot.
Eric – You can’t think straight because the blood just rushed to your pants again. Wanna adjust yourself?
Nick – Why? Those two have intimate knowledge of my cock and once this interview is over…the other ladies in the room will too.
Eric – Oh god, when Ollie reads this interview. He’s going to kill me. No, he’s going to kill you. Please, for the love of god, stop talking. He told you, D, is off limits to you.
Nick – Well, then he should have stuck around to make sure I behaved. (Leans back in chair with arms folded behind his head)
D—I’m in trouble. O is not going to be happy. Is he always like that?
Eric, Amy and Mel – Yes.
Mel – And worse.
Eric – I promised Ollie this would be a serious interview…think that’s officially out of the window.
D—So Eric, you seem to be the mellow, more quiet one of the bunch. Give up some goods– tell us one Flirty thing about you and one Dirty thing about you. *giggles*
Eric – (Running fingers through hair) Uh, yeah, I guess I am kinda mellow. Something flirty? I am the world’s greatest kisser. No lie. On New Year’s, at Benny’s, there was a queue of girls wanting to kiss me at midnight.
Mel – That tongue is seriously skillful in every area. If you know what I mean.
Amy – The whole room knows what you mean.
Eric – That would be my dirty I guess. I like going down on a girl. I like watching her wriggle and moan.
D— *full on jaw drop* Holy crap Eric! I’m not even sure what to do with that info.
Nick – Oh, we can’t talk about my sex life, but baby face over here talks licking pussy and that’s okay? What the fuck!? (Pointing between Mel and Amy) Double standards.
Mel – Only when it comes to you and your mouth!
Nick – I don’t recall you complaining about my mouth when it was making you scream and claw at the sheets, kitty cat. Brought a whole new meaning to making a pussy purr!
Mel – (Takes off shoe and throws it at his head)
Nick – (chuckles and picks it off the floor) The spoils of war.
D—Tell me how’s Layla doing? Are things settling down for her now? I really hope she finds her heart and her happiness.
Mel (Bites lip and looks at Amy) Um…she’s fine.
Amy – Yeah, she’s just…adjusting to her new life I guess.
Nick – Isn’t Ollie on his way to-
Eric – (Smacks Nick on the arm) Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Dude. Ollie told you not to talk about it. Remember?
Nick – But I’m saying, if she’s so ‘fine’ why is he going –
Mel – (Swats him around the head) Shhh.
Nick – Okay, everyone stop hitting me. I get it. Not allowed to talk about Ollie going to Europe to find Layla.
Eric, Mel and Amy – You stupid son of a-
All three start shouting at Nick at once.
Nick – Alright! Jeez. You see what I put up with?
Eric – Well we put up with you!
Nick – (Grinning) You’re all truly blessed.
Mel – Or psychotic
Amy – Or blackmailed by Ollie. If you weren’t such a good drummer, I’d have killed you by now.
Well I think that about wraps it up. Thanks so much for stopping by. I’ll admit though I miss my guy. *sigh*
Amy – Me too.
Mel – (Glancing at Nick) Seconded.
So are we going out tonight? *laughs* I think some Flirty and Dirty fun is in order.
Eric – We’re headed to Benny’s, you coming?
Nick – I’ll show you a real dirty time.
Amy – I’ll be scrubbing this interview off of me for days thanks to Nick.
Mel – I need a shot of Jack. Who’s up for Mel’s shot challenge? I’m reigning champion. Even the rock star can’t beat me.
Mel – Great! First round’s on Nick.
Nick – (Starts taking off his t-shirt) Hell yeah they are! Body shots!
D—help us all!
So there you have it Flirty and Dirty peeps. Let’s just say I haven’t had such a lively and well visually interesting interview in a long time. Leave a post at the bottom to be entered into a draw. I will gift the winner an ecopy of either Bound Together or Last Christmas. Tell me which one and which format (Amazon or B & N). <3 xx